Fibromyalia and depression

I need advice on how to best come to a solution. My mother is 89. She has had Fibromyalia for the past 20 years. This led to falling, fibrofog, aches, osteoprosis and some depression. She is a very dependent person also.

I live 1200 miles away from her.My brother lives within 20 minutes of her. My nephew, his wife and very young sons live there.( My father died 6 years ago.)

For the past 12 years, I fly to take her to all doctors appointments and lay out/order her medication and suppliments. I finally found one of the top doctors for Fibromyalgia in my area to help her six years ago. Her health has improved.

I have tried to keep Mom independent by hiring a home healthaide after Dad died to help with taking medication, running errands, and give me reports of problems.She now is also getting meals on wheels.

My brother has never been able to lay out her medication or communicate well with her doctors/healthcare agencies/home aids well. My brothers major reactions are denial of a problem, yelling at doctor/home health aide/me,or taking away my Mom's personal freedom (he sold her car, takes bank account/money away, stops her mail delivery at home).

My concern is what will happen to my Mom as she enter her 90's. (She takes after her father who lived to 99 and has no other major health problems.) So far her weight is down, she is not eating well, has severe hearing loss, her skin tears easily, does not always take her medication.

I can't get my brother to realize that we need a long term plan now. I don't think home healthcare will work much longer. My mother acts dependent and as if this a conflict between her children. (It really should be her decision.)

I feel at 89, she needs a long term plan. I don't want to have to put her in the first available nursing home because she got hurt.I have thought of going to a third party, family counselor, to help come up with a plan with all family member present.

Anyone with some thoughts on how better cope with this situation? I wake up at night worrying about this.